While I patiently wait for my injection training

Let me start by saying this feels like the longest week ever!!!!!!! I begin my injections on Saturday but go to the IVF clinic on Thursday to get my training and calendar. I seriously cant wait and feel like this week has just dragged on. Tomorrow I'm going to six flags magic mountain in Valencia CA.  In observance of the holiday and the fact that there is no school, I really need to do something just to take my mind off things.

 

We are also going in celebration of my favorite (not that I should have one but at least I'm honest) nieces 15th birthday. I'm kind of sad because I would have liked to spend the day off with my precious little princess but it makes no sense to take her with me as I am pretty sure she will not meet any of the height requirements. Both of her parents are vertically challenged and therefore we don't expect her to surpass our height in any way. I am only 5'2" and her dad is a whopping 5'6" So im thinking she will be some where in that ball park.

 

As I sit here writing this, a question popped into my head. How did you all explain to your children surrogacy and that the baby you were carrying wasn't yours. My DD is only 5 years old so Im trying to keep it as simple as possible. Do any of you have any suggestions or experience that you would like to share with me?

 

I am a little stressed out on the subject and am hoping to have an answer for her that I am content with when the time comes. If you haven't noticed already I like to prepare myself and research before just jumping into something. I am definitely waiting until I am confirmed pregnant before even bringing up the subject. When did you all explain to your children and family that you had decided to become a surrogate? I seriously think telling my 5yr old will be a lot easier than telling my parents. Did any of you have to overcome any challenges or objections to your decisions from family members or friends who just didn't understand?

 

On that note I'm hoping for positive feed back from everyone...you can only hope for the best. Right? I am so ready for tomorrow and relieving a little bit of stress. Until next time...Good Night!!!!

A little bit about our Family Backgrounds and reactions

I am the youngest from a family of 6. I have two older brothers and an older sister. We grew up in southern California and lived a very comfortable life. My parents were both born in Mexico and came to America to start their family and provide a better future for their kids.

 

I am thankful everyday for the sacrifices they made for us. They are a bit old school and that is where the trouble starts. Out of everyone in my family the only person that knows about my decision to become a surrogate mother is my sister. Of course I plan to tell everyone else at some point before I am noticeably pregnant. The question is how do I explain to them what I am doing and why?? I know that they will understand and will be supportive but because of the language barrier I just don't know how to research and educate myself so that I can translate my feelings about surrogacy. It has been a challenge to say the least, I have looked on multiple websites and although they explain in Spanish what surrogacy is I just don't feel like I want my explanation to be so bland. I am completely fluent in Spanish however being in an English speaking household for now 7 years I am a little rusty and there are certain things I just don't know how to say. So my concern is how do you explain to family that you are willing to carry someone else's baby because you know this family deserves to be happy and fulfill their dreams to complete their family?

 

My sisters reaction was exactly what I had expected...very supportive but shocked. She supports me and my decision how ever she still has questions and every once in a while will ask me random things that come to her mind. She asked me the dreaded question I'm hoping some of you have been asked...How can you carry this baby and then give it away? It was plain and simple this is not my baby. I went in with this thought in mind and I have to remind myself daily. This is not my baby in any way shape or form. I will carry this precious baby to term for parents who I know will love and care for this baby unconditionally.



The Fiancee and I at our favorite place!!

 

 

On the other hand I have my fiancées family. The father of my daughter is one of three. He is a twin which I forget on a daily basis as they are fraternal and has a younger sister. They were born in Hawaii and moved to the states about 13 years ago.

 

His parents were involved before I even decided to contact the agency. They thought it was a great idea and knew exactly what I wanted to fulfill by doing this. They made me feel like no matter what my choice was they would support me every step of the way. It was very unconditional and I really appreciated it. They think it will be a great experience.

 

 

 



Screening Process, Contracts and Birth Control

So I thought I did my homework before going into surrogacy but boy was I in for a big surprise...Here is what I didn't expect of my process.

Our screening process began with tests and psychiatric evaluations. It took about two weeks to finally get the call back from the psychiatrist that I had been cleared and was ready to go live on the surrogate database. I thought it would for sure take a few months to be matched with IPs considering the research I had done and from friends who have gone through the process in the past. I was matched a few days after going live and was in complete and utter shock. We got to look at our IPs profile before making our final decision to proceed. I loved everything about them. They had an amazing history and knew exactly what they were looking for without being unreasonable. They live in another country so having a close relationship is not going to be very easy but because I always envisioned myself having backyard bbqs and family outings with my IPs I am definitely going to put my best foot forward involving them in everything I possibly can. They happen to live 30 miles from the city where my BFs grandma grew up which I thought was interesting and yet a bit bizarre. What are the odds that these IPs would pick me and yet out of all places live so close to a place that grandma knows so well. They seemed like they would be a perfect fit so we decided to go forward with them. We signed our match agreements which meant it was time to get to business.

I got an email about two days after our match had been finalized from an attorney who was going to help me with the paper work required by the agency in order to begin medical screening. Talk about killing trees, I got a contract from my attorney that was about 50 pages full of rules and regulations that my partner and I must follow. We edited the contract what felt like a million times and waited about 2 weeks to get a final draft. You basically go through the contract with an attorney he makes suggestions on changes you should make and you either agree or disagree. I printed out the first draft and made revisions I felt comfortable with.



You might not be able to see all 56 pages but that's how long my contract was!

 About a month and a half after we matched we finalized our contracts and were ready for medical screening.



Not the  best picture but I took this right
before my RE came in to begin
screening.

I always save the best for last. My medical screening appointment was just peachy literally. No matter how much you research and educate yourself you can never be completely prepared. So I went in to have my blood drawn, do an ultrasound and have my hysteroscopy.  Everything was fine until she had to do the dreaded invasive procedure. For one it was painful, it literally feels like there is a ton sitting on your uterus. The pressure for me was unbearable. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Oh and did I mention messy. They basically fill your uterus with water and go in through your cervix with a small camera to see what your uterus looks like and where they will be implanting the embryos. I should have gone prepared with some dark pants on and a pad but that definitely was not the case. I had on light gray work pants and when I walked I could feel small drips of water coming out. I had to go to the pharmacy which was downstairs in order to fill my birth control because they wanted me to start taking it that night. By the time I made it the pharmacy, walking slower than a snail, it looked like I had wet my pants. I was mortified. The pharmacist was nice enough to expedite my order and have me out of there in less than five minutes. Then my OCD kicked in and I had to do my research on the side effects of my BC and also find out how long it had been on the market. I am very sensitive to medication and I noticed my moods began changing a few days after taking the pill. Luckily I was able to become aware of the side effects I was having and have some control over my reactions. I can be pretty moody as it is so being on BC is a bit difficult for me. Not to mention everyone else in my household. The last time I took BC was about 4 years ago and I experienced everything from weight gain, acne, mood swings, and fatigue. This time around has been a bit different and have only had minor mood swings and fatigue so I am crossing my fingers and hoping it will continue that way.



I'm getting ready to begin my injections and will be going to injection training on the 23rd of January. We are hoping for a February Transfer.

My decision to become a surrogate!

        

 Ok so where do I begin? I have thought about becoming a surrogate for approximately two years now.  Having a Daughter of my own has been the most amazing experience for me. I have thought about the families I would be able to help and the impact that I could have on their lives. I wanted to experience making a difference in someone else's life and I thought what better way than giving the gift of life. I researched the topic for a little over a year and weighed out my pros and cons.

 

About a year ago with the help of a friend I picked an agency I felt fit my needs and submitted my application. That's when all the fun begins, you go through a rigid screening process and take multiple tests which let the psychiatrist know whether you are a good candidate or not. They take pictures of you and create a profile which is then updated into their database. Intended Parents(IPs) look through the database and decide if you are a good fit for them or not. I got picked shortly after my profile was active and had to consider if these IPs were going to be a good match for me.I got to look at my IPs profile before agreeing to begin my journey. As I read through their history and why they wanted to reach out to someone like me I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief in knowing I had made the right decision and knowing that they were going to be able to complete their family with my help.

 

I am prepared to begin this wonderful journey with an amazing support system and agency that truly cares about the people involved.

I am not quite ready for my daughter to make her online debut!!