The nervous wait for the infamous transfer day!!

I can't even begin to explain the amount of anxiety and nervousness I felt the week prior to my transfer day. I went in on May 2nd for my final ultrasound and lab. They said everything looked great and that my transfer was scheduled for the 9th. They didn't have a set time for me and would call me during the week to let me know. 

The only concern the doctor had was that my IP only wanted to transfer boys. We wouldn't know until the morning of the transfer if and how many boys we would have. She said there was a slight chance we would have to cancel yet another transfer.

I definitely got nervous when she mentioned this. I have been through one cancelled transferred earlier this year and it was not fun. My doctor put me on provera to balance out my hormones and so that AF could make her appearance. It was not a fun experience. It came with hot flashes, mood swings, and extreme fatigue. By the time everything balanced out they called me that we would be starting my second cycle. I was scared to have to put my body through all of that again. Not to mention AF wasn't very friendly that month. She lasted a whole 9 days and was not a light flow at all.

The doctor handed me my new calendar for the week of the transfer and the following two weeks. I was scheduled to start PIO that Sunday. I had not experienced PIO and was a bit scared after all the research I had done on the web. A lot of people mentioned how badly it hurt and the soreness on the injection site. I was a little nervous and had my DH help me with the shot. It actually wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. It didn't feel much different from the estrogen at all.

The week of the transfer I tried to keep busy with work and my daughters school. I realized that my daughter's mother day tea  party was scheduled for the same day as my transfer. So I hoped for an afternoon transfer.

Work was a bit hectic that week as we would be getting a new manager. We would be incurring a lot of changes and new rules.

Being so busy and caught up with work and being a mommy ended up being a blessing in disguise. It made the week go by a lot faster. Not to mention my hubby took me on a little get away to release some stress.

They called me the day before the transfer to notify of the time. To my dismay the transfer was scheduled at the exact time of the tea party. I choked up as I tried to ask if she had any other times available. I knew that my daughter would be devastated. Unfortunately the doctor didn't have any other times available. So at 10:30 am it would have to be.

I came home from work that night in tears. Although to some it may sound a bit dramatic, the truth is that I love going to all school activities. I hate missing out on anything. I think it has to do with growing up in a home with two working parents. I was always that kid who's parents never showed up for anything. I'm a bit of an extremist and don't want to miss out on one single thing. So with tears in my eyes I broke my little kindergartener's heart and told her I wouldn't be able to make it to her tea party. She actually handled it really well. As I couldn't find a replacement to go in my place on such short notice I just decided to keep her home from school.

So as you can all imagine I didn't sleep much the night before. It no longer was the anticipation of the transfer that kept me up but the sadness that I would be missing out on something that meant a lot to my little munchkin.

Meeting My Intended Parent

So before I jump into my meet and greet with my IP, a little history about my anxious ways.


I have the tendency to get a bit anxious when I feel like something is out of my control or when I am thrown into a situation that I did not expect.

Meeting my IP was just that, a very anxious unexpected experience which was out of my control.

I was on my way to my doctors appointment for an ultrasound and blood work to follow up on my body's reaction to the estrogen. My phone rings and its the doctors office, instantly thinking I must have wrote down the wrong time and missed the appointment, I answer the phone. My cycle coordinator Ashley is on the line and states she has very exciting news, "Your IP arrived a week early from Germany and would love to have dinner with you tonight. He figured you would be in the area and it would be a great time to sit down and chat." I sat in my car with my mouth wide open not even knowing how to respond to her statement. I usually like to prepare myself and be ready to give a good first impression. I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops...not my idea of appropriate attire. I had anticipated only going to the doctors office and then running some errands. While, all of these lovely thoughts flooded my brain I realized Ashley was still on the phone waiting for me to respond. So I politely agreed to meet him for dinner and hung up.

The instant I hung up I googled the nearest Target. I knew a top and shoes were going to be necessary and since I was about an hour early to my appointment I figured I would stop by before making my way over to the office. To my dismay finding the appropriate clothes was fairly easy and crossing that off my list of to do things made me feel a bit more at ease.

As, I make my way over to the doctors office for my ultrasound my mind is still racing. I had anticipated this moment happening for quite some time however, I did not have any of my notes or questions handy and felt completely unprepared.

I arrived at the doctors office and everything went great. My uterus looked good and I was exactly where they needed me to be in regards to hormone levels.

I went up to the front desk to schedule my next appointment when Ashley called my name and asked me to go to her office. I went in thinking it would be a regular follow up conversation. She quickly handed me a paper with all of the hotel information and location where my IP would be staying for the week. She asked me to call him and schedule the time that we could meet as they didn't want to impose on my schedule.

I left the appointment feeling sick to my stomach...not only did I get thrown into this meeting now I have to call and schedule it myself?

So I did just that...I called and the phone rang and rang...I sat hoping no one would pick up and I could just leave a message. I wasn't that lucky. My IP answered and asked if I could meet him at his hotel and we could decide on a dinner place from there.

We went to a fancy ocean front restaurant (thank goodness I had changed out of my flip flops). I remember our entire conversation from beginning to end but I'll spare you all the details.

He was an amazing man who wants a child more than anything in this world. He has achieved so much in his life time and I felt so proud and humbled to be the person he chose to help him achieve his final dream. He explained to me why he wants this baby and why he is willing to do anything to get him. It was such a bonding moment and I knew in that moment, in that restaurant that I had made one of the best decisions in my life. A very life changing decision but an amazing one.

Our goodbye was not an easy one as we knew we would not be seeing each other very often because of his work and living in a completely different country.

I remember him hugging me tight and looking me in the eyes begging me to take care of his baby. He thanked me for helping him fufill his dream. As I drove off I could see him standing in front of the hotel through my rearview mirror and time stood still as I let all the emotions sink in.

The beautiful view from our restaurant...best sunset experience ever!!



Valentine's Day

As the week comes to an end I am definitely feeling a bit relieved. I work full time Wednesday-Sunday and it can be a very demanding schedule.

I also volunteer at my daughters school on Tuesdays and try to get as much house work done on Mondays while she is at school.

Add the holiday into the mix and this week has been pure chaos. I have been known to be a procrastinator. All through high school I waited until the last day to do all my home work assignments and spent sleepless nights finishing projects.

For Valentines day I wanted to do something that my daughter could help put together. She loves to be involved especially when its gifts for her friends. So we hit up the dollar store last night(hence the procrastination comment LOL) and got all her goodies for her party this morning (lucky girl has a 4 day weekend).

I bought these really cute bags for her to fill

12 bags for a $1

 We got some V-day cards and of course I couldn't just grab the unisex ones. I got Frozen for the girls and Iron Man 3 for the boys.

Loved the pencils and stickers that were included with the cards.

So it didn't hit me until we got home and were putting these together that I realized there are a lot more girls than boys...so some of her friends might be a little mad when they open their valentines tomorrow. LOL

Also to my dismay the Frozen cards were extremely cheap but I had to work with what I had...I didnt tear the borders on the cards because I kept ripping them so I instead just left them as is and stuck the pencils in through the slots.

We filled the baggies with play dough, a sucker, and a chocolate. I tried to avoid putting to much candy in the baggies although I can't get rid of it altogether.

 

It was also a pretty cheap route to go...under $25 bucks for all 31 students in her class. Cant wait to hear how it goes tomorrow.

As we were putting the baggies together I couldn't help but flash back to when I didn't have a daughter and Valentine's day was all about me. What was my boyfriend going to get me and where we would go to dinner. Now as a mommy I can say there is nothing that could make my day more special than the look on my munchkins face when she wakes up to her surprise. We love buying heart shaped balloons and setting up all her surprises throughout the house. It's definitely a lot more fun and memorable when you know that your putting a smile on other people's faces and it no longer is all about you!!





Lupron shots...one week down!!

So I went in for my baseline ultrasound and injection training on the 23rd. They gave me the go ahead to begin Lupron on the 25th. It has been exactly one week of shots and so far so good.

 

 

The needles are relatively small and it feels like a small pinch. I read about all of the side effects that you can have while on Lupron and was a little freaked out about the long list. However of all the side effects I have only experienced hot flashes and minor headaches. The hot flashes are bearable considering its January but in Southern California especially in the Inland Empire we don't have much of a winter. Thank goodness it has cooled down these last two days because I have been burning up.

 

I finally received my lovely calendar which states that we have a tentative transfer date scheduled for March 7th. Unfortunately it happens to be the exact same day one of my best friends is getting married. I spoke with the IVF clinic and they said that they will know by the last week of February exactly when the transfer will be. I am crossing my fingers it will be on the 8th so that I am able to go celebrate this very special occasion with friends.

 

 

So I keep looking over my calendar to make sure I am doing exactly what I was asked to do. I have to constantly remind myself to slow down and not feel overwhelmed.

 

I am supposed to start delestrogen on the 13th of this month and I am looking into the possible side effects. Anyone have any severe reactions to the medication? I always want to be prepared and at least have an idea of what to expect.

 

I am so excited to say that my IPs will be able to make it to the transfer and that we will get to bond with them during that time. I know they are so excited and I seriously cant wait to meet them in person. I feel like March will be here in no time and I am trying to slow down and enjoy as much of my daily life as possible.

 

On that note is it too early to decorate for Valentine's Day? My BF thinks I am crazy but I believe in making a big deal even out of the most ridiculous holidays(including Valentines and St Patrick's Day). I want my daughter to always have a good time and we sure do love our crafts.



My Love banner!!

  

 Sorry for all the random thoughts...just had a lot on my mind! Hope you all enjoyed and until next time!!!

While I patiently wait for my injection training

Let me start by saying this feels like the longest week ever!!!!!!! I begin my injections on Saturday but go to the IVF clinic on Thursday to get my training and calendar. I seriously cant wait and feel like this week has just dragged on. Tomorrow I'm going to six flags magic mountain in Valencia CA.  In observance of the holiday and the fact that there is no school, I really need to do something just to take my mind off things.

 

We are also going in celebration of my favorite (not that I should have one but at least I'm honest) nieces 15th birthday. I'm kind of sad because I would have liked to spend the day off with my precious little princess but it makes no sense to take her with me as I am pretty sure she will not meet any of the height requirements. Both of her parents are vertically challenged and therefore we don't expect her to surpass our height in any way. I am only 5'2" and her dad is a whopping 5'6" So im thinking she will be some where in that ball park.

 

As I sit here writing this, a question popped into my head. How did you all explain to your children surrogacy and that the baby you were carrying wasn't yours. My DD is only 5 years old so Im trying to keep it as simple as possible. Do any of you have any suggestions or experience that you would like to share with me?

 

I am a little stressed out on the subject and am hoping to have an answer for her that I am content with when the time comes. If you haven't noticed already I like to prepare myself and research before just jumping into something. I am definitely waiting until I am confirmed pregnant before even bringing up the subject. When did you all explain to your children and family that you had decided to become a surrogate? I seriously think telling my 5yr old will be a lot easier than telling my parents. Did any of you have to overcome any challenges or objections to your decisions from family members or friends who just didn't understand?

 

On that note I'm hoping for positive feed back from everyone...you can only hope for the best. Right? I am so ready for tomorrow and relieving a little bit of stress. Until next time...Good Night!!!!

A little bit about our Family Backgrounds and reactions

I am the youngest from a family of 6. I have two older brothers and an older sister. We grew up in southern California and lived a very comfortable life. My parents were both born in Mexico and came to America to start their family and provide a better future for their kids.

 

I am thankful everyday for the sacrifices they made for us. They are a bit old school and that is where the trouble starts. Out of everyone in my family the only person that knows about my decision to become a surrogate mother is my sister. Of course I plan to tell everyone else at some point before I am noticeably pregnant. The question is how do I explain to them what I am doing and why?? I know that they will understand and will be supportive but because of the language barrier I just don't know how to research and educate myself so that I can translate my feelings about surrogacy. It has been a challenge to say the least, I have looked on multiple websites and although they explain in Spanish what surrogacy is I just don't feel like I want my explanation to be so bland. I am completely fluent in Spanish however being in an English speaking household for now 7 years I am a little rusty and there are certain things I just don't know how to say. So my concern is how do you explain to family that you are willing to carry someone else's baby because you know this family deserves to be happy and fulfill their dreams to complete their family?

 

My sisters reaction was exactly what I had expected...very supportive but shocked. She supports me and my decision how ever she still has questions and every once in a while will ask me random things that come to her mind. She asked me the dreaded question I'm hoping some of you have been asked...How can you carry this baby and then give it away? It was plain and simple this is not my baby. I went in with this thought in mind and I have to remind myself daily. This is not my baby in any way shape or form. I will carry this precious baby to term for parents who I know will love and care for this baby unconditionally.



The Fiancee and I at our favorite place!!

 

 

On the other hand I have my fiancées family. The father of my daughter is one of three. He is a twin which I forget on a daily basis as they are fraternal and has a younger sister. They were born in Hawaii and moved to the states about 13 years ago.

 

His parents were involved before I even decided to contact the agency. They thought it was a great idea and knew exactly what I wanted to fulfill by doing this. They made me feel like no matter what my choice was they would support me every step of the way. It was very unconditional and I really appreciated it. They think it will be a great experience.

 

 

 



Screening Process, Contracts and Birth Control

So I thought I did my homework before going into surrogacy but boy was I in for a big surprise...Here is what I didn't expect of my process.

Our screening process began with tests and psychiatric evaluations. It took about two weeks to finally get the call back from the psychiatrist that I had been cleared and was ready to go live on the surrogate database. I thought it would for sure take a few months to be matched with IPs considering the research I had done and from friends who have gone through the process in the past. I was matched a few days after going live and was in complete and utter shock. We got to look at our IPs profile before making our final decision to proceed. I loved everything about them. They had an amazing history and knew exactly what they were looking for without being unreasonable. They live in another country so having a close relationship is not going to be very easy but because I always envisioned myself having backyard bbqs and family outings with my IPs I am definitely going to put my best foot forward involving them in everything I possibly can. They happen to live 30 miles from the city where my BFs grandma grew up which I thought was interesting and yet a bit bizarre. What are the odds that these IPs would pick me and yet out of all places live so close to a place that grandma knows so well. They seemed like they would be a perfect fit so we decided to go forward with them. We signed our match agreements which meant it was time to get to business.

I got an email about two days after our match had been finalized from an attorney who was going to help me with the paper work required by the agency in order to begin medical screening. Talk about killing trees, I got a contract from my attorney that was about 50 pages full of rules and regulations that my partner and I must follow. We edited the contract what felt like a million times and waited about 2 weeks to get a final draft. You basically go through the contract with an attorney he makes suggestions on changes you should make and you either agree or disagree. I printed out the first draft and made revisions I felt comfortable with.



You might not be able to see all 56 pages but that's how long my contract was!

 About a month and a half after we matched we finalized our contracts and were ready for medical screening.



Not the  best picture but I took this right
before my RE came in to begin
screening.

I always save the best for last. My medical screening appointment was just peachy literally. No matter how much you research and educate yourself you can never be completely prepared. So I went in to have my blood drawn, do an ultrasound and have my hysteroscopy.  Everything was fine until she had to do the dreaded invasive procedure. For one it was painful, it literally feels like there is a ton sitting on your uterus. The pressure for me was unbearable. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Oh and did I mention messy. They basically fill your uterus with water and go in through your cervix with a small camera to see what your uterus looks like and where they will be implanting the embryos. I should have gone prepared with some dark pants on and a pad but that definitely was not the case. I had on light gray work pants and when I walked I could feel small drips of water coming out. I had to go to the pharmacy which was downstairs in order to fill my birth control because they wanted me to start taking it that night. By the time I made it the pharmacy, walking slower than a snail, it looked like I had wet my pants. I was mortified. The pharmacist was nice enough to expedite my order and have me out of there in less than five minutes. Then my OCD kicked in and I had to do my research on the side effects of my BC and also find out how long it had been on the market. I am very sensitive to medication and I noticed my moods began changing a few days after taking the pill. Luckily I was able to become aware of the side effects I was having and have some control over my reactions. I can be pretty moody as it is so being on BC is a bit difficult for me. Not to mention everyone else in my household. The last time I took BC was about 4 years ago and I experienced everything from weight gain, acne, mood swings, and fatigue. This time around has been a bit different and have only had minor mood swings and fatigue so I am crossing my fingers and hoping it will continue that way.



I'm getting ready to begin my injections and will be going to injection training on the 23rd of January. We are hoping for a February Transfer.

My decision to become a surrogate!

        

 Ok so where do I begin? I have thought about becoming a surrogate for approximately two years now.  Having a Daughter of my own has been the most amazing experience for me. I have thought about the families I would be able to help and the impact that I could have on their lives. I wanted to experience making a difference in someone else's life and I thought what better way than giving the gift of life. I researched the topic for a little over a year and weighed out my pros and cons.

 

About a year ago with the help of a friend I picked an agency I felt fit my needs and submitted my application. That's when all the fun begins, you go through a rigid screening process and take multiple tests which let the psychiatrist know whether you are a good candidate or not. They take pictures of you and create a profile which is then updated into their database. Intended Parents(IPs) look through the database and decide if you are a good fit for them or not. I got picked shortly after my profile was active and had to consider if these IPs were going to be a good match for me.I got to look at my IPs profile before agreeing to begin my journey. As I read through their history and why they wanted to reach out to someone like me I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief in knowing I had made the right decision and knowing that they were going to be able to complete their family with my help.

 

I am prepared to begin this wonderful journey with an amazing support system and agency that truly cares about the people involved.

I am not quite ready for my daughter to make her online debut!!